Signs of Humour..!

Got these in a mail.. :)

Help!....I am stuck..again.

As my Muse showed no signs of returning (for the uninitiated refer: Once upon a Time ) , I thought of resorting to my favorite topic (thus titled coz I never seem to run out of things to write under it) namely, My embarrassing moments. But then I realised that I had already written an article on it in the magazine which wud have been read by my NITC friends and knowing fully well that 99.9% of the people who do visit this blog ( if at all) are my NITC friends ( love u all..hehe) it wudnt be fair on my part , to make them read a repetition of the same ( thus also driving them away forever..:)). I was dejected.I had nothing else to write(curse u,Muse).

And then..out of nowhere, when all seemed lost and I had almost decided to make a quick exit from this cruel(sob..) world of blogging..I heard a voice...no, not from my head this time. It was Dilip's ( the malayalam actor) . from the TV.

'Don't touch me ae'

he said to that girl who was stuck in the lift with him in Mr.Butler ( lovvveee that movie.) I let out a giggle as he proceeded to make that instant biryani on his Wonder Briefcase. Then , memories of all the times I was stuck flooded my mind. Yes! I cud write about all the times I was stuck.


No not like poor old Pumbaa here.
In lifts.in bathrooms.in rooms. Not only have I have been stuck, I have even managed to lock people in too :D.

My earliest experience of being stuck was in the 4th grade. I had just finished Sunday school and decided to make a quick visit to the bathroom. As I was about to close it, I did realise that well..it was one of those doors which drags on the ground ( u know, the kind that is difficult to close or open and leaves marks on the floor. For the readers residing in the lh , like Shane's door!) but then i didn't think twice abt it ( who wud at that time). Afterwards I tried opening it. It wudnt budge. And the door didn't have a handle inside with which you cud pull or exert your strength. Just a small latch. These bathrooms were located at an isolated area. I started knocking on the door.I was kinda hesitant to scream considering it's a church and all and thought I'll wait it out. Somebodys bound to come along.Minutes creeped by slowly.My imagination being as active as ever, thoughts of being stuck here forever quickly overcame any embarrassment I felt ( the not-so-appealing smell helped too ) and I started screaming my lungs out. Soon, I was rescued by a nun, who was passing by. Needless to say , I never went there again( to that bathroom,that is).

My second experience was in 8th grade (I think). My cousin used to live in this old,huge flat in Ajman.( Those were the days. That flat was big, with a long corridor and rooms to the left and right of it and a long balcony connecting the hall, kitchen and the bedroom. We used to play 'vampires of Ajman' and 'ghosts of Ajman flats' there all nite.hehe.more abt that in a later post.) The only problem with old, huge flats is that their lifts ( if they have them) were just as old and creaky.It was in perfect working condition. So, it made a slight creaking noise every time it moved. But it worked.
One day, as my cousins and I were having a great time , having the house all to ourselves ( aunt and uncle both used to go for work.), it was mine and my same aged cousin, Jeethals' turn to go down and replenish our pepsi supplies. She insisted we take the stairs while me, always of the belief that one must conserve one's energy whenever possible, thot we ought to just take the lift inside of going down three flights of stairs. Both of us were in a stubborn mood that day, not ready to give in. So I decided to take the lift and she, the stairs and have a race as to who wud reach the bottom first.
I clambered into the lift hurriedly as the lift opened and pressed level '0' reasoning that that must be the button for the ground floor.I cud hear jeethal's footsteps above. I was smiling smugly to myself as I thot of reaching there first and waiting for her, when the lift suddenly gave a lurch and stopped. I looked at the digital box indicating the level, it showed 1. Wondering what went wrong and irritated at the thought of losing more time, I pressed 0 once more.It didn't move. I pressed again.and again.but in vain. Puzzled,I pressed the open button. Nothing happened.Then with the sudden realisation that the lift was stuck, I started screaming for jeethu. Thankfully, the stairs was near to the lift and she heard my screams. She didn't know what to do either.She tried pressing the button from outside but the lift was stubbornly still.
At last, we thought of calling the watchman. He came out sleepily from his room, calmly listened to my cousin's plea for help, went in, took a bunch of keys,went to the lift and opened it. A breathless, flushed me stumbled out of the lift and looked at the watchman with a new found respect. He gave a smile and said that the 0 level thingy doesn't work anymore. 1 goes to the ground floor. Then why on earth, is it still there??? . The watchman, just shrugged and went back to his room. Of course, after that , the stairs didn't seem all that repulsive to me .

Moving on to being stuck in a room.
Again, I believe this occurred around the same time as the bathroom incident, around 4th-5th grade. I was in another of my cousins' place in balussery for vacation. After spending hours playing hide and seek and other outdoor activities, our parents told us it was time to come in. The guys ( my bro and another cousin) immediately jumped on the comp and started playing dirtbike ( or something like that.) I wasnt interested in computers then and it was a 2 player game anyway. So we girls decided to ahem..choreograph..dance steps for a popular number at the time( cant remember which one). We went into their room and I switched on the music. Before we began, we suddenly came with the idea of locking the room.....to keep away from prying eyes ;). After 45 mins of hard core choreography and practise :), we decided that it was time for a break. I tried unlocking the door. ( again, the structure of the lock becomes important.This time, it was one of those doors with the turning locks. you turn it twice, it gets locked and turn it the other way, it opens). I heard a clicking noise but the door didnt open. I tried again. Then my cousin came and tried. It was no use. This time round, I didnt have to scream, they were all nearby and when we bagan knocking and they came around and started giving instructions on how to open. We tried everything. Atlast they decided to call the carpenter. After two hours of being stuck in the room, he came and said the lock had fallen in or smething and that he wud have to cut out the whole lock area. After what seemed like ages, the door was opened and we came out grinning sheepishly at everyone. That incident didn't stop us from dancing or choreographing anymore, but we were more easy on the privacy thingy :)

And , finally, the time when I locked my mom and my moms friend in their house.
That happened quite recently ( in 11th or 12th). My friend was just explaining to me abt the peculiarity of their front door lock. That it could only be locked from the inside. A half key was stuck inside the outside keyhole. ( This was one of those locks with turning knobs with keyholes). As a result, if the entire family had to go out they had no other choice but to leave the flat unlocked hoping no wud try turning the knob.

Schematic diagram of the kind of lock I was attempting to describe verbally..;).Just remove the head of that key and imagine the rest of the key still stuck in the lock.

So we went out to examine the lock, while our parents were in the living room talking. I looked at the lock and my mind being for quite some time idle, became the legendary devil's workshop and I exclaimed:

" I bet we can lock it with the tip of the pen!" . (Archimedes must felt about the same excitement when he exclaimed Eureka! ).Off I went searching for one and tried locking it. Somewhere in the back of my head , a warning bell resounded indicating this was a bad idea, but I pretended not to hear it and hurriedly tried turning the inside key with the pen. Well, It worked. We could finally lock from the outside. and for a second both of us felt like the Wright brothers and looked on with satisfaction. We then decided to unlock it. I took out The Pen again and tried turning it the other way. It refused to turn. How can that be? This shud work. I tried again. This time the nib of the pen went further into the pen. aaargh! Now what?. By this time, our parents had heard all the noises and asked us what was going on as they tried unlocking from the inside. We looked nervously at each other. I asked to ask the neighbours if they had anything sharp and thin with which we could attempt to turn this lock. Hummphh..Me and my great idea. She brought a compass and I fumbled with it for sometime.Finally I felt the thing turning and then a reassuring click as it unlocked. I never felt so relieved ever. Of course , my relief turned to an embarrassed grin when I saw our parents' face. But then they laughed. Thankfully.

They were more 'I'm stuck' incidents in my life, but they pretty much run along these lines so I shall refrain from writing them down here. Why me? hmm..On the bright side, I guess, I know a lot more about locks now ;).

Hmm..I wonder...

* About the whole concept of giving presents on someone's bday?..I mean, you get presents coz u were born that day some years ago?..hmm...wonder how it all started...and spread all over the world ( barring some 'different' traditions among the whatchyamaycallit tribes in some places)

Having said that, lemme assure you that i have no problem whatsoever in recieving or giving gifts on bdays. I don't mind us doing seemingly non-sensical things as long as its fun and does no harm...;)

*About the damage repair system packages( esp hair) u get in beauty parlours these days...I mean, that's like keeping both the poison and the antidote in one place, rite?

Wanna start your own Subway?

Yep.No kidding.you can start your own Subway restaurant..anytime, anyplace( if u have enough dough, of course).

I got this info from a very reliable source in the business and economics field ( namely my BROTHER...he's in 12th...before you raise that eyebrow skeptically, consider for one moment this fact: He asked my uncle when he can take over his business at the age of 5. honest.no,not fifth standard. 5 years old. plus, later on, when i was walking about happily clueless about what I'm going to do in life, he was deciding the names of his various companies, designing his products and thinking about their location). So, now that we have cleared (hopefully) the authenticity of my statement let's get on to the details.
What subway does is simple. If u want to start one, you can. They'll give u the right to use their brand name, give all the food items ( so the actual quality will be theirs), the uniforms etc. You can set it up anywhere, as long as you give a fixed amount to them at the end of each month. Any more extra you earn is your profit.

I like the idea. I mean , this way, all subway has to do is make the ingredients. They get assured returns every time, don't have to worry about employees, maintenance and unions.

Well..don't you just wish you had listened to your mom when she asked to eat up the veggies? Look where that got subway!

I don't know too much about the whole corporate , business world, so i cant find any flaws in this. But, I'd be happy if anyone can point any or comment on the system.

Till then...yummm...this veggie delight salad tastes...crunch,crunch..delicious..

Once upon a Time...

As urs truly was spending yet another night blog-hopping ( made easy by their inclusion in the orkut profiles of various people) , a series of tiny flashes of light started lighting up my otherwise dark brain.The brain, shocked and taken aback by such unusual,sudden activity nevertheless proceeded to decode the signals...maybe..just maybe..it said...you can start your own blog, neethi!
Are you kidding me?..I..well..signaled back ..and just why do you suppose I should do that?..Im happy now, not needing to employ any of my grey cells which, seeing that they are so small in number, needs to be preserved for far more important things in the future which may require their use..

More flashes of light..
Hmmm...you have a point (emotion decoded: slight dejection)...but I have reasons to believe this might be a good idea...

I'm sure you have..but I'm afraid I do not have the time or the inclination to listen to them...I am currently very busy, dear..umm... flash of light, pondering over something I read in somebody's else blog, trying to make some sense out of 'Mistress of Spices'( I did, btw,yippeee), watching endless stuff on YouTube, trying to break my previous record of sleeping for 14 hours etc..So you see, however valid or wonderful your reasons may be, I simply cannot squeeze a blog into my schedule...Thanku ..tata..bubye...go ahead and brighten somebody else's brain...

But, if you could just hear me through..c'mon, you hate it when somebody stubbornly refuses to do something without even taking the possibility into consideration,don't you? Aha..you are now being hypocritical (emotion decoded: smug)...

Hummphh...k..lets hear it then, you sneaky,manipulative thing...but make it fast...I'm a busy girl...

Hehe..I knew you would come around...( ed: wide grin)..arite, the reasons.
first off, why were you blog-hopping?

well...thats easy...I was bored..3 months is a bit too long for vacns..and after a really hectic sem, it seems even more longer...and as I discovered, some of the blogs are quite interesting to read...

(ed: calm, clear-headed)There's your first reason then : Many are bound to be bored like you...and like u may also resort to blog-hopping...so this is the best time for you to start a blog as the probability of ppl reading it atleast once is more...pluuuusss....here's the second: this would be a good way to keep you from being bored...

Alrite, Ill give you the first one...but as for the second one, I'm afraid you goofed buddy...I have a certain criteria for anything which can be considered as potential boredom-destroyers...that whatever it is , must not involve any kind of effort from my side ...and blogging, my friend, does not fall into this category...which is why I'm bored in the first place..most of the things that can be used to remove boredom requires (shudder) effort ...

Well..granted that it does require a bit of effort ...but not as much you are wont to think...it's the easiest to do on the net..it follows no particular format..there are no rules...you can just scribble down anything you want, whenever you want and however you want..and besides, it'll provide a platform to try out all your newly learnt css and html...you can simply try making changes to the already existing template they provide....

Hmmm...when u put it that way, it doesn't seem like too bad an idea...buuuuuttt....its easy for you to say 'anything u want..blah blah..'..If you're such a know-it-all gimme some examples of 'anything'..(gotcha!)..annd..about css, ha...ten bucks says no one in their right minds will feel like reading the blog after I make 'modifications' to it with my negligible css knowledge(for want of better term)..

Hey..hey..cool it,arite...Im trying to help you here...and about 'anything' (ed:deep sigh)...must I tell you everything?..well..don't you have all these opinions of urs which you always feel is not long enough to actually write an article on?

Yeah....

well..you can pen them down here...then you could maybe write all those incidents in your life which you find really funny (u know.. the ones you slightly exaggerate when you narrate them to ur friends...)..or embarrasing( lol...I can't believe you actually asked at the ticket counter in ekm for a ticket to ekm..you should write about that..)

Gr8....Thanx a lottt :( ...I wasnt exactly planning on writing my embarassing moments...and btw, I DID NOT exagerate those stories..they really happened that way...honest...

(Yawn)...uh-huh..if you say so pal...and abt your css, you have to try it out somewhere, don't you? I'm just saying this is the safest place...

Alrite then..I guess I caaaann start a bl- aha !(triumphant) ..wait a minute...I can't ....

( ed: resignation) What is it this time?

I ...tend to ramble....In case I do get down to writing posts,I have this nasty habit of straying away from the topic a zillion times when something else catches my fancy and can go on to brackets and sub-brackets and then suddenly returning to the original topic ....howsoever delightful I find my rambling, many might find it really tedious and slightly confusing to read...I realised this when I was reading thru an article in wikipedia once...you know how they have links like around 5-6 in each paragragh?each of these links can be thought to be a divertion ...imagine if they inserted the content of these links into the actual topic...its going to run into pages...thats what will happen to my posts..

(ed: deep thought) hmmm...well.....then why don't you solve the problem like wiki did? create links...! I mean whenever you feel like rambling, give it as a link to another post where you can jote down your ramblings..that way you can ramble all you want and only ppl who want to read it need click on them...

yeah...! I guess I could try to see if I can make that work...I never thot i'll say this..but I think I'm beginning to like you...

I knew you would...everyone does...they don't call me 'Muse' for nothin' you know..

That's what you are?? My Muse..?..where were you all this time,huh?..esp when i really needed to write an article or a poem or think creatively?..I take back what I said...you are inconsistent,flighty, flip, mood-

Love to stay and chat, dear,but I gotta go..umm..light somebody else's brain like you said..bye..tata..see ya...mayb...

Wait...You can't just GO!...How am I supposed to write the other posts???....now lissen, you wait rite there mister...

But there were no more flashes...

Welll ...then I guess that ends this intro post ...As you can see, I have no idea when or what the next post is gonna be...that's why I wrote this convo down..so you wont be surprised by either sudden appearance of a lot of posts or if the blog seems to have been forgotten by the owner (just waiting for the muse, folks)...Until next time...toodles...